Here are three of the largest parenting mistakes when parenting troubled teens. First off, every single parent on the face of this earth, falls short. I applaud you for parenting, and I am so thankful that you are here reading this right now. Troubled teens need parents who care enough to actually go out and look for the answers to their problems. All parents face challenges and road blocks, and parenting troubled needs is no easy task. So, please make sure that you are aware of these mistakes and please act on the advice offered.
Families of Troubled Teens Have No Value System
I have met many families who are completely unaware of a value system. A value system is a set of values and beliefs that your family believes is right to live by. For every family this can be different. If you troubled teen valued what your family valued, wouldn't your lives together be bit more pleasant? Let's think about it. You teach your troubled teen that your family values a very clean house. You explain to your troubled teen why your family values such a clean house. Now it's not about doing your chores, but living a set of values. Some obvious values that can really benefit your family now are no cussing, no lying, no stealing, etc...
Parents of Troubled Teens MUST Control Themselves
I know. It's pretty self-explanatory, but it is VERY vital to your teen's development. If you are constantly cussing, losing your anger, and getting frustrated with your teen, you are teaching your teen how to lose their cool as well. If you find that you can't stay in control of yourself in certain situations with your troubled teen, simply remove yourself from the situation. It's OK to come back to a conversation after you can cool down. Don't teach your troubled teen how to lose their anger. Are you perfect? No, and I don't expect you to be. But, this is very beneficial, even if you only do half of the time.
Troubled Teens Need Freedom to Experience Life, Structured Freedom
This method is referred to as Freedom Within Structure. Your troubled teen is at a point in their life where they want to experience the privileges of adulthood, but they don't want to accept any responsibility should they choose to make bad decisions. Give your teen the benefit of the doubt, and trust them until they prove you wrong. Should they choose to be very responsible, extend their boundary or structure of freedom. Should they deceive and are deemed not trustworthy, you might need to make that Freedom Structure a bit smaller than it was, and explain why you had to do so. Trust is HUGE in parenting troubled teens. If they blow it, you need create a structure where they can't. When they prove faithful again, and you feel you can trust them, extend the structure. Many parents allow to much freedom, or don't allow any. This model will help, because it's built simply off of trust between you and your teen.